Z and I are friends.  That's it.  I love him, but only as a friend.  We had a good talk today, I got the answers to questions I was seeking.  We straightened out some misunderstandings, and I think that maybe, just maybe, we're gonna be okay.  i guess things got so conused before, for the both of us, and neither of us knew what to do or where to go.  He swore to me that he never meant to hurt me before, and I believe him.  He sounded truly genuine.  I'm not stupid, I know that he could be playing me, but I can't help but forgive him.  He's my friend, and I feel like I need him in my life.  He's there to give me advice when I need it, and he's there to listen to me complain & b---h about things when i need him too.  I'm not sure I completely trust him, I'm still working on that, but I do know that I have forgiven him, I mean we both made mistakes in the past, after all, everyone makes mistakes sooner or later.  And sometimes, some people are worth being forgiven.

 As far as Tim goes, I love him more than any-one (except my kids) and that's never going to change.  He is my best friend as well as my husband.  I've forgiven him for lying to me about Z.  I understand why he did it, I'm not happy about it, but I do understand it.  We've got a lot to work out, but I think we will.  I know we will.  He accepts Z in my life, he's not jealous, and he has no reason to be.  I love Tim & only Tim.  No one is EVER going to change that.  I married him, and I plan on honorring my marraige vows.

So, what I'm saying is that I've forgiven both men in my life, and I think everything is going to be okay.  I'll be able to have my two best friends in my life, and that's all I'm asking.  There is so much going on with sickness in my family & ect. that I need them both.  Sometimes it's good to have friends that will stand by you no matter what, and I believe that both of my friends will.