So, i've decided that it's about time that i get back to my roots and start writing again.  I've been so busy with things going on over the past few months that i haven't really done any writing at all.  I lost touch with friends, and i even slacked back in my writing classes, but i have finally gotten out of whatever slump i was in, and have found my aspirations to write again.  I love writing, it's my passion, and so now for the past two days i have worked nearly nonstop on my book and it is FINALLY almost finished!!  Soon it will be ready for publication.  I also have a poetry book that is ready for publication, and to top all that off, i have an idea for yet another book.  So it looks like i'm going to be doing quite a bit of writing for the next few months, which is great, because as i already said i love to write. 

Which brings me back here to shoutpost.  I think it's about time that i get back to blogging, after all, it is where i get some of my greatest ideas and feedback, and it helps to vent my frustrations.  The last time that i blogged i think i was still dealing with the news of finding out about Zack raping my friend.  But i have severed all ties with him and he hasn't even tried contacting me in the last few months, which is a great relief.  I'd just had enough, he'd used me time and time again, but i never could find the courage to walk away from him because somehow, every time i tried, i got pulled back into his web of distruction and lies.  But after talking to my friend, who i hadn't spoken with in years, i realized that this was the last straw.  Any man, who could rape a woman deserves the worst kind of punishment, and i can not and will not be friends with that man.  Yes people can change, and it this he done as a young teenager, but honestly, after seeing the way he treated me (a girl he claimed to have once loved & respect in high regards and consider a friend), i realize that Zack is never going to change.  He's always going to be the same teenage boy who raped a friend of mine.  And that makes it even harder, because she is my friend, and i never knew that she moved to another state to get away from him. (I didn't even know him at the time). 

But I can't dwell on him anymore.  I've got much more to dwell with.  My grandmother just went through a heart catherization surgery a few weeks ago (she's doing much better thank God), but she has problems with her leg, and there's nothing they can do for her, and she worries that she may loose it.  And both of my husbands Grandmothers have just been diagnosed with cancer, one breast & the other has lung cancer.  Both were caught in the early stages so we are optimistic, and praying for a full recovery.

But i've learned anything over the past few months, it's that time is precious, and I'm not about to waste anymore of it, dwelling about the past or my past mistakes (Zack included)   It's time for a fresh start.  And once again a new me.  I dyied my hair back to blond, only this time it's more of a dirtly blond instead of bleech blond(which my husband wasn't crazy about).  I think the dark black hair just kept me in my down mode, so now i'm ready to live my life, happy and upbeat, and get back to being me.  Oh, by the way, last time i wrote, i said i had lost 15 pounds, but unfortunatly i gained some of that back.  BUT!!!! I have started eating REALLY healthy, and working out (thank you pilates) and now i've lost all of that i had gained back and an additional 12 pounds.  So since June 1st (through many ups & downs) i have lost a total of 27 pounds!!  Which is great for me, Because nearly 20 of those pounds has come in the past 6 weeks, and i'm feeling so much better about myself, my self esteem is up, which is great because i've never had ANY self-esteem in the first place.  So, i'm a new me, and i'm  really REALLY happy!