Today, has been a painful day for me.  As some of you know I am working on a book in which the first 4 chapters come striaght from my life.  Now i wrote those chapters about 6 months ago, but today i was going back through, reading them, editing, and adding any details that i may have left out.  And while doing so, it felt as if i was re-living the memories all over again. The pain I have dealt with from having Zack in my life all came back, and so did all the feelings that i once felt.  Yes he is out of my life, and i am better off for it, BUT, that doesn't make the pain any easier, and it doesn't make me forget.  My heart still breaks when i think about how stupid i must have been to care for someone who was only using me.  To think i loved him and considered him a best friend only to have him in the end turn out to be the kind of guy he is. 

I can't talk to my husband about this, because frankly he hates Zack enough, and he's finally put it out of his life.  And i have too, but it's in my book, so i have to deal with.  I have to face the truth. And i'm glad that i'm starring the truth in the face, because i'm realizing that i never dealt with it (as usual).  I just bottled emotions up inside because i didn't want to face the truth.  My point is, that even when it's  been months or years since someone hurt or betrayed you, it doesn't mean you ever forget, even though maybe you should.  You just try to move on, and be preparred for the days when old memories come flooding back, because eventually they will.